When dining in China, go nuts. Burping is a sign of appreciation for the food. While individual plates are sometimes used, family meals are served off one giant plate. Extra plates are considered wasteful.
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In Japanese culture, this behavior is only acceptable at funerals, when food is offered to hungry ghosts. Also, it can resemble funeral incense, which is just going to make dinner awkward. During funeral rituals in Japan, bones are passed from one set of chopsticks to the other, so passing food this way is considered taboo. Everyone knows spoons lead to insurgency. There are some variations on table placement, but either way, Hot Pockets will taste so much better with a fancy place setting. You're supposed to use your fork to shovel food onto your spoon , then eat off that. Wait to eat until the eldest person has started, and keep pace with them.
This isn't a race; there's plenty of kimchi to go around. My experience has been that women are the worst.
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Men, much more willing to split things evenly. A tip is To Insure Proper Service. Proper billing big part of that service and there is no reason the waitstaff should assume that each table only needs one bill. Every table you serve will have to pay you-why not make the process as seamless as possible? Good service includes expertly managing the entire dining experience.
I think dividing equally is the simplest way to settle the tab after a meal. I tell a lot of my friends they need to stay home and save their money until they can afford to go out. No one mentioned the specials like 2 pizzas for the price of one the more expensive of the 2. Make sure you double the pizza cost for tipping purposes. I have never tipped with the tax included. Your article did not mention specifically how alcohol should be handled. I was taught to tip on just the meal, not the alcohol.
Years ago restaurants tabs came with the bar bill separate. Now everything is on one check. I do tip on the whole bill, including the alcohol. I think most people do the same. Should we be tipping on the alcohol? Where did the no tip on alcohol rule go? Especially if the server never refilled glasses after initial pour.
What to do about the tax? Any comments? The server collected cards, and then divided the bill evenly.
Just as a karma note — the restaurant is out of business. Servers usually expect the opposite and are pleasantly surprised when someone actually does this. Good points! Out of all the tips, however, the best option is probably the second one — let the server know in advance that you want separate checks. With the exception of the first point, the others can get way too cumbersome lol. Just remember to tip the server a little more than expected for the work put in writing up the separate orders.
Restaurants need to loosen up on separate checks. The wine is served to all at the table. If 8 of us sat at separate tables there would be separate checks and tons more work for the server. Thanks, Barbara. I agree with the basic theory of this article and the comments about not dining out with cheapskates…we learned that lesson years ago.
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A side note…one should not tip on the tax…on an expensive meal or large party this can add tremendously to the bill total but has never been a part of tipping etiquette in the past and should not be now. In fact in the old days we were taught to only tip on the food total.. I am a bartender and server and am pleased to see such considerate responses.
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It would be a pleasure to take care of any of those who commented previously! Yes, it happens more often than you might imagine. Finally, an observation: men and women tend to handle dining bills differently. While there are exceptions, men generally do one of two things: split the bill evenly among them, or one will pay the bill and the others settle up with the payer.
I once had a party of five women give me five credit cards with a Sticky Note with an amount on each. Fortunately, their math was correct. Was this wrong? If so why? Is that wrong? Oh boy, the never ending battle on how to divide the restaurant bill. How is it that dividing the bill in most European countries, especially in Nordic countries, is not an issue? No one needs to announce in advance how the bill is being paid although its often asked by the waiter before taking the orders , the waiters are trained to break down the bill however the guests request it.
There is no special tool kit used to do this, and even if there were, with this age and time with all the apps and tools available, I wonder why restaurants in US throw the calculation and dividing of the bill to the customer, when it should be their job to provide each customer their own bill if so requested. When dining out in a group, we break it down by head. If children are involved, we will count them collectively as an adult head even if they order an adult meal. This often balances the alcohol portion of the bill.
The other thing that we do is that the tip is paid to the server in cash whenever possible and especially when there is a mix of credit cards and cash. I go for lunch monthly with a large group f friends. When we arrive at the restaurant, I tell the waitress that I will give her a credit card for the whole bill, and everyone can pay me. At dinner one evening, my accountant CPA told me — in front of the waiter — to subtract the tax amount when calculating the tip. He claimed that the tip was for service only. Needless to say, I engaged an new accountant immediately!
It even handled shared dishes. I usually run into this issue when dining at a conference with business friends at a restaurant that either will not provide separate checks or has a 3 credit card maximum. We all need receipts for expense reports, so we either have one person responsible for scanning the detailed bill and e-mailing it to all of us or simply take a picture of the bill with our phones, then check off what we had and total it for the expense report.
We are four couples that dine out once a week. How the server proceeds is their choice. This works well most of the time. I wish there was a tactful way to ask people to pay a certain amount in advance so that everyone knows up front what they plan to spend. I usually end up overpaying and feeling bitter. But Janet gave me a great idea for those times when dining out with a large group is unavoidable. Thanks Janet! As a server for 10 years trying to support a family the most common and infuriating instances of bad tipping was working with a group of diners.
They know how to work the system to their advantage. Group diners beware! I agree with Andy. We just ask the server to split the entire check, not individual charges, onto two separate credit cards. I was a waitress and understand how it works. However, if we get terrible service we coordinate the tip lower as well. Tip should not be assumed, server still needs to do their job well and help make our experience a pleasant one. Otherwise, someone may forget about the tax, overlook their soda, etc. I worked my way through college as a server and I have never seen a place where the stupidity or selfishness of people becomes more apparent than when splitting a dining bill.
Unless you have diner repeatedly with the same group of people and know their moral code, I think it is wisest to request separate checks at the beginning of the meal and let people be responsible for their own choices, and any reasonably professional restaurant will do this, or I would never return to that restaurant again. These are the reasons many waiters HATE waiting on groups. In my travels in Europe the waiters there do not mk a big deal abt splitting a bill individually even if there are 10 customers at a table.
American restaurants shd provide such a service with a smile instead of making their cus feel th they are doing them a favor by splitting a check. Unless you have diner repeatedly with the same group of people and know their moral code, I think it is wisest to request separate checks at the beginning of the meal and let people be responsible for their own choices —and any reasonably professional restaurant will do this, or I would never return to that restaurant again. These reasons are why many waiters HATE waiting on groups. I alsways feel like an ass asking ng people to get at for their drinks, apps and entrees when I just have an entree so I always expect to come up way short.
There must be a better way or I just need more considerate friends. It is that simple. That is why we have hundreds of millions of drive-throughs and takeaways. As a server, I can tell you that one of the most frustrating things is when part of the party pays cash or gift card and the rest goes on a credit card, and then whoever pays the credit card only tips on their part. Happens all the time! Although the drinks and snacks are cheaper, the server still has to work just as hard as when the same items are full price.
In many cases, the server works harder, since there are frequent refills, orders, etc. Your server will be delighted to have you back next time. If you skimp on the tip, you may not be welcome at all.
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When we get the bill one of us pays and everybody says thanks for the service. However, it does allow for splitting and includes the tip! They simply put in the same amount that the iced tea or water drinkers are putting in.
This is why I have begun asking for separate checks. I agree with the majority of you. No tip is not an option in my book. Poor service needs to be brought to Managers attention tho. I once dated a brilliant, kind, funny, caring man who happened to be a functioning severe alcoholic. We were in the newspaper business together and alcoholism runs rampant in that field. He and I often went out for lunch or dinner with other reporters and editors, most of whom took for granted the concept of equally splitting any restaurant check.
Most of them drank heavily at these meals and I, as a non-drinker, had only water or hot tea. My companion saved me from exploitation by the drinkers by suggesting that I should always request a separate check for myself, which I did. Please consider yourself warned, non-drinkers who go to restaurants with drinkers. When bill splitting, If I end up paying much more than I consumed, it all evens out in the end because next time, it may be the other way around, and my friends will cover my extras.
If this give and take is not the case, then I know that these are people with whom dinner out together will not be an option in the future. However, if at all possible, have everyone also agree on a Prix Fixe menu for the entire group, to ensure that each person is paying the same amount. Image: neisheng.
So when you want another helping or to refill your drink, offer it to other guests first. Serve someone else first before you serve yourself. Image: theowl84 via Compfight cc. The same etiquette rule is followed in Russia and Spain. Table manners are more than just learning how to use chopsticks. Researched by Monica Song and Cecilia Kwan. Bound by a common conviction, the fates of a woman living in Beijing and a man living in New York become inextricably linked in a story of courage and freedom.
Charles Lee, a Chinese American businessman, who along with hundreds of thousands of peaceful citizens are imprisoned, tortured and even killed for their organs.