Before and After, The Death of my Son (The Journey, Womens Edition Book 1)

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Almost everything bad that could happen to a young person happened to him.

He had a catastrophic accident at work that permanently damaged one of his fingers. He will never use it again, though almost everything he loves to do requires the precise and flexible use of his hands.

26 Powerful Women’s Recovery Memoirs to Inspire Your Own Journey

He endured a devastating break-up with a longtime girlfriend. And he got fired from a job he cared about, without any warning or rationale. He seemed just about as broken as a young man can be. I too had been through a tough year — my brother killed himself, one of my best friends died a slow death from cancer, and I had a serious setback in my work life.

But all of that was mild compared to the agony of watching my handsome, vigorous son kicked to the ground. I wanted to be by his side constantly, I wanted to go out and hurt those who had hurt him, arrange new work for him, bring beautiful women to my home where he had come to live and yet I wanted to get as far away as possible, just to avoid the pain his pain was causing me. I longed for help.

7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child

I thought of starting a support group for parents of adult children. Talking to others might just make me feel worse.


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Then I began to hear that others — the butcher, my neighbor, my oldest friend — were feeling a similar sense of anguish. Who knew? It was like staring at one of those three-d patterns in a drawing, which emerges when you hold the page at a certain distance.

When They’re Grown, the Real Pain Begins

Suddenly I could see the uncertainty and worry that all the parents of grown children around me were feeling. Between my work, and the time spent Skyping and phoning my sons about their problems, who had time for a support group? He was on the phone, describing a crisis in his graduate studies.

As usual, my first response was a palpitating heart and sick stomach. A plan of action began to take shape in my head.

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I started explaining how he should respond to the terrible graduate adviser. I wanted to ask if he was taking notes on my good advice. He cut me off. Since the first edition of the book was written pre-social network age, the tips for finding other widowed people your age or dating are quaintly analog. Those chapters aside, the wisdom and advice in this book are timeless.

When They’re Grown, the Real Pain Begins - The New York Times

By the time she was 25, cancer had claimed the lives of both her parents. Golden G. Publishing, The Soundtrack of Loss. Plus a Spotify playlist of the songs that have carried us through our darkest days.

What Is Grief?

From cremains pressed into vinyl records to photo-wrapped coffins, our columnist finds 7 suprisingly cool products no one wants to search for. From words conjured in a dream to ashes mixed into ink, our columnist presents her annual feature on these forever memorials. Our Mourning, Noon and Night columnist glued herself to the TV in search of realistic portrayals of loss. Here are some ones that got it right. Tweets by ModernLoss.

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