20 Shades Of Yorkshire: A Parody

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Of course, who cares about the other characters? People are just going to fly straight through to the sex scenes. And what wonderful sex scenes they are Now, it's a fact by now that this novel has BDSM in it. Christian has the old 'Red Room of Pain', with canes, riding crops, clamps, and cuffs. He also has rope and carabiners hanging from the ceiling, and obliges his partners to sign a contract that details basically all of his kinks. One of which is anal fisting.

It's just I mean, so badly. Christian almost always growls, strokes his long fingers along Anastasia's body, goes down there , and he and Anastasia almost always have explosive orgasms. The only kind of orgasm, it seems.

The Four Yorkshiremen

My god, do these scenes become dull and predictable after a while. Also, E. James: why do your characters have sex all the time? Can't they find something else to do? Is there no common hobby they have other than sex? In 30 years' time, will Christian growl for the last time as he realises he can't get it up anymore, and have the Red Room of Pain converted into a library, or something? I just really don't see the appeal in this couple. At all.

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I really don't care what couples get up to behind their bedroom doors. There just isn't any chemistry. It's just two characters having sex all the time.

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Every single sex scene is disturbing, a cluster of all the words that pop up on Fifty Shades drinking games, and it all just comes across as really repulsive and stilted. Anastasia and the book itself, in fact is written way too much like a sheltered British girl, in my opinion. Sure, if you gave her a time machine set to s London and set her up into the aristocracy, she'd jump at the chance. But my problem is that she's American , and there really ought to be more Americanisms used in the writing, since it's from her point of view. I don't care if she exclusively reads British literature, no American would speak like that.

So, is there a plot at all in this book? No, not really.

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There's no conflict to their relationship, nothing else happens, it's just sex then downtime then sex then downtime, and maybe a few ridiculously boring e-mails. The only time the setting changes is when Anastasia moves house, visits Christian's parents, and goes back home to Georgia. That is not a story. This is just like watching a soap opera. Albeit one with a bigger concentration on sex.

Now, here's something that seriously baffles me, and it seems like it's started cropping up in YA and romance books only recently. It seems like you can't get to know a person through the usual avenues anymore. You have to stalk them 'til you wind up knowing more about them than they know about themselves. Case in point, Christian Grey tracking Anastasia's address, phone number, and pretty much demanding that they stay in constant contact, lest Anastasia's fear the wrath of his 'twitchy palm'.

Oh, sure, Anastasia jokes about it with him, saying he should seek therapy and what have you When what she really should be doing is filing every kind of restraining order available to her. It's not some adorable little quirk that Christian has thanks to his previous trauma. Putting your tongue firmly into your cheek doesn't help anything either, in fact, in this novel, it comes across as a mask how disturbing this issue really is. All in all, this was yet another terrible book I seem to be drawn to like a moth to a flame. I assumed it would be a sociologically important book, and it certainly is, but you'd assume the public would latch on to something that is at least of decent quality.

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Fifty Shades of Grey. Reading Progress. July 12, — Shelved as: fiction. August 14, —. August 25, —. August 27, — Shelved as: reviewed. Apr 03, AM. I just don't understand how this is supposed to be some kind of sensual romance when really, I've read PWPs that had more plot than this. LOL So have I.

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So have I. This is bad even by fanfiction standards. But you are right, even outside fanfiction, it's boring. And not sexy at all. Apr 03, PM. The popularity of this book makes me lose faith in humanity. I've read snippets of it, and I just don't understand why people like it. May 02, AM. I'm considering reading the sample just out of curiosity! And you just made me even more curious.

I'm reading it right now I, uh I just don't know what to think. I started it out of curiosity. The writing is horrific. The premise is laughable. But it has sort of snagged my attention, which I'm ashamed to admit. I don't like the "romance" genre per se, or erotica really either. Yet, every night at I flip on my Kindle and continue immersing myself in this story.

I don't know what's become of me. Will report when I'm done.

3 Yorkshireteers - Yorkshire People

May 02, PM. Alicia wrote: "I'm considering reading the sample just out of curiosity! Jul 16, AM. This book deserves a 0 :. Aug 03, PM. You're going in??? Good luck, I'm rooting for you! Aug 04, PM. Mad respect that you finished it. They even had Hollywood on the phone - Universal Studios wanted to buy the film rights. The book was to offer a psychological insight into Grey before he became famous, his "childhood, educational background, rapid rise in business, years of international travel and his string of relationships and select sexual proclivities," as written by a fictional former classmate of Grey's, Dominic Cutmore, and was due to be published last October.

The only problem was Bluemoose Books did not actually own the rights to such a book — nor did it have the funds to print such a book — nor, in fact, did it have the book itself. None of its in-house authors had ever read EL James's erotic novel, let alone written fan fiction purporting to tell the tale of how a troubled young chap grew up to be the tall, dark and handsome man of every woman's dreams.

Every woman willing to submit to his darkest and kinkiest sexual desires, at least. So what happens when a tiny publishing house takes on a project on this scale and effectively takes on one of the most powerful publishers in the world? Kevin Duffy, owner of Bluemoose Books, was under a bit of pressure to make good on his opportunistic stunt and produce a novel which, he had boasted, would "pull no punches and leaves no stone unturned". He instructed his wife to buy a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and desperately leaf through it on the train down to London while texting a plot summary to one of the company's authors, who fired off the first three chapters of The Secret Life of Christian Grey in an afternoon.

Meanwhile, Duffy started trying to cobble together enough cash to print the hundreds of thousands of copies needed to quench the world's desire for Grey-related fiction. And, he said: "For a week I nearly became a millionaire. They quickly dropped the idea. Duffy is not too disheartened, however, saying: "The reason I re-mortgaged the house was to publish great stories. The stunt had also put him in touch with publishing houses in Australia and the United States, allowing him to promote some of the homegrown fiction Bluehouse is so proud of.

Duffy said that although his company was too small to risk legal action, they might "write a book about the book about the book.

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