Personals Ad

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Daniel Cooper. March 23, 2 min read. More from Entrepreneur. Learn to be a better leader and develop successful marketing and branding strategies with Dr.

17 Best Craigslist Personals Alternatives In 12222 for Casual Encounters

Locanto Classifieds has something for everyone in Los Angeles! Are you looking to meet new friends in your town? Or are you just interested in a casual encounter or flirt?

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Browse the personals ads on Locanto Classifieds now or post your classifieds ad for free! You need a tutor for your child, or a babysitter for the weekend? Now people turn to the personals ads first, then read the book reviews.

Sandy's Personal Ad - 01/10/11

Instead of lying about their physical attributes, sparkling personalities, improbable sexual skills, wealth, and accomplishments in an effort to elicit hopeful responses from gullible readers, these people exaggerate their flaws with cutting haiku-like precision. They highlight skin diseases, ugliness, mental illness, flatulence, obesity, poor hygiene, personality disorders, revenge fantasies, perverted fetishes, and disappointing sexual skills.

If Douglas Adams, Terry Gilliam, and Nein Quarterly had ever hired themselves out to write personals for others, they would have sounded a lot like these:.

Personals | Dating | Free Personal Ads | Classified Ads

I like my women the way I like my kebab. Found by surprise after a drunken night out, and covered in too much tahini.

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Man, Rarely produces winning metaphors. My last seven adverts in this column were influenced by the early catalogue of Krautrock band, Paternoster.

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This one, however, is based entirely around the work of Gil Scott-Heron. Have you ever heard Boards of Canada?

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To some, I am a world of temptation. Male, Tall, handsome, well-built, articulate, intelligent, sensitive, yet often grossly inaccurate man, Join me in my bedroomed mansion on my Gloucestershire estate, set in acres of wild-stag populated woodland. My therapist has given me such a good rate I can afford to indulge my bouts of infidelity and still deal elegantly with my guilt. Attached but unfaithful London male, 60, seeks female counterpart.

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I promise an intensity of sexual joy unexpected in the LRB. This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. admin